Sometimes I wonder. How life would be, to don't have the feelings I have right know. But now I'm ok. Because I can write about it. And now I kind of understand what my heart meens. Now I can go on, whit sport, to be skinny, and studieng, so my points will be great. And do everything for my friends, so they wont let me down. Because that's why I do homework, because I don't want to let people down who want me to be good at school. And thats why I try so hard, because I'm afraid. And you now why I read all the time? To escape of reality. Because that stories are way more better that this. But I'm ok. And I will be. And I don't lie right now. It's all good.